Career Development

Tips on attending a conference

These are some practices I’ve developed over many years of attending conferences. They are not the only tips, or even the best tips…but they are my tips as I reflect on the conference from which I just returned. 1. Prepare Read the program descriptions beforehand (on the flight there is fine) and circle the sessions in the program guide. It’s frustrating to make quick decisions on the fly while standing in the hallway, especially if you are trying to network at the same time.

Read bios of the presenters and try to remember their names so if you sit next to one, you know who they are and can capitalize on the opportunity to introduce yourself and ask questions.

If a directory of participants is provided, scan the list to see if there are people you know or want to meet - so you can be on the look out throughout the conference.

2. Introduce yourself If you are an introvert and feel uncomfortable meeting knew people, force yourself to be extrovert for at least the first day (no one will know any different of you.) Introduce yourself to anyone/everyone around you. Look for others who may be standing solo, they will likely be welcoming of your introduction - perhaps they may be feeling the same awkwardness of not knowing anyone either. Being an extrovert for a day may dramatically improve your experience of the conference. If not, day two you can go back to being an introvert, but you may be pleasantly surprised how many people will try to engage you based on your interactions the day prior.

If you get to a session early, rather than bury yourself in your smart phone or the conference program, introduce yourself to those sitting around you. Ask how they are enjoying conference, how they learned about the conference, their connection to the topic, etc.

3. Become an expert Sit near front or middle of any session. During the Q&A period, ask questions or make a comment – but remember it’s about the quality (vs. quantity) of your comments. One or two questions/comments is enough define yourself as expert – there is a fine line between coming across as an “expert” in a subject matter and a “know-it-all.”

4. Exchange business cards If applicable, on the business card you give away, write down information you are requesting of the recipient. On cards you receive, write down key words of the discussion you had or the items (weblinks, articles, book titles, contacts) you promised to send them. This will help you tremendously when you get home and sort through the stack of business cards you collected. (there are many times when I look at cards and wonder, “what were we talking about?” or “what was it that I said I’d send to them?”

When you get home, follow up with the business cards you collected. Send email to follow up with those who promised to send you info, forward to others the info you promised to them, and send thank you notes to those with whom you had a great conversation.

5. Use Social media Tweet or post to Facebook/LinkedIn a key word or phrase that you heard, a new concept you learned, names of presenters and an interesting comment they made, etc. Blog about your conference experience – either during or shortly afterwards.

6. Build a community If you enjoyed the conference, plan to attend the following year. Put it on your calendar as soon as you hear about it so you can start to plan around it. Make vacation plans around it to capitalize on the travel expense. Invite friends and colleagues to attend the conference with you.

If you attend annually, you will start to recognize faces and develop friendships. Consider presenting – after a few years, you might identify areas where you have knowledge or relevant topics that haven’t yet been discussed.

Highlights from the 2011 National Cohousing Conference

This is one of the few conferences that I attend annually where I wear more than one or two hats. At most conferences I’m an attendee and frequently I’m a presenter. However, at this conference I also wear the hat of National Board Member, professional (cohousing architect – aka “expert”), and cohouser (member of a forming cohousing group). While it is not uncommon to have these other identities at other conferences, they are not repeatedly highlighted throughout those conferences in the same way. Keynote addresses were made by Liz Walker, Ross Chapin, Katie McCamant, and Chuck Durrett. Common theme amongst all of their talks were around the importance of relationships and the resiliency of communities. Liz spoke about the Ecovillage she lives at in Ithaca, NY. She talked not only about the cohousing communities that are part of that Ecovillage (FRoG, SoNG, and soon to be TREe), but also of the sustainable agriculture and educational outreach that are integral to their community life. Ross Chapin shared a beautiful collection of slides that illustrated the concept of “pocket neighborhoods” – which is also the title of his recently published book. Katie McCamant inspired us with stories of the early days of cohousing when she and her husband/partner Chuck Durrett recruited friends to help edit/distribute the book which has become known as the “cohousing bible” from their basement of their first home. Chuck Durrett closed the conference stating that cohousing may be at a tipping point in mainstream America; there is a heightened awareness of cohousing as an alternative housing model that is attractive to a variety of families and individuals. The keynote addresses provided a lot of food for thought and inspiration to go back home and try to build community wherever we can.

This year the Board devoted a considerable amount of effort on advocacy for affordable housing. I helped the conference team develop a presentation track on the topic, inviting leaders from the DC area who worked both at the regional and national level on issues of affordable housing. There was lots of interest from conference participants in learning how to incorporate affordable housing into cohousing communities and fostering connections with national housing organizations that are also working on issues related to affordability.

Other sessions – eldering in cohousing, developing meal program, facilitating connections among residents. Great sessions for those living in community as well as in forming groups.

Tours – I took all day rural tour of Liberty Village, Ecovillage in Louden County, Cotactin Cohousing and Blueberry Hill. Distinct contrast to the other communities on tour – Eastern Village Cohousing and Takoma Village Cohousing. Demonstrated the wide range of physical form, rural-to-urban settings, and personalities that comprise the broader cohousing community.

For fun there was the annual dinner and auction. I couldn’t help notice the remarkable difference of this event from my first conference 6 years ago to now. As a board member, I was impressed with the significant improvement in the Association’s ability to raise money…while making it fun for the attendees.

As a table captain, I decided to up the chances for fun by playing musical chairs. - I took the liberty to have participants change seats twice between courses – giving them a chance to mix up the group and encourage many connections to be made during dinner.

During the dinner, we honored Dene Peterson of Elderspirit Cohousing with a Lifetime Achievement Award. I told my table (comprised mostly of young people) that they should all take note and strive to be like Dene. We should all be so privileged to be recognized by our peers in the same way some day.

The conference also marked the end of a year-long search for a new Executive Director for the Cohousing Association. The three finalists were invited to attend the conference (on their own dime) and were interviewed in formal interviews and numerous one-on-one conversations with board members. After the 3 solid days of being “on”, I was impressed with the caliber of our candidates. It was a difficult decision for the Board because we were in the fortunate situation of having 3 highly qualified individuals to select from. I think we would have been happy with any one of them. But our job was to choose, and I believe that our new ED has the skills, knowledge, and grace to take the Association to a new level of professionalism, advocacy, and financial wherewithal. (The new ED will be publicly announced shortly).

One take away from the conference is the concept of “being a communitarian”. While I’ve been involved with the communities movement for a while, I had a heightened awareness of what it meant to be a communitarian – which I think allows for a graciousness towards others that is rarely seen in popular American culture. I saw an intentional effort not to judge people based on appearance and behavior but to meet individuals where they are and to assume good intent until proven otherwise. This is hard behavior to adopt for someone like me who was raised in a highly critical family. It is a skill that I am starting to develop and I saw others exhibit their skills in many ways - they way they were welcoming of newcomers, of their acceptance to those who looked/acted different, and how they interacted with one another with a high level of respect and regard.

Leaving the conference, I feel a deep gratitude for the elders, board members, fellow cohousers who are trying to create a sustainable planet, one neighborhood at a time.

A Wish for Leaders

I participated in Leadership Tomorrow (LT) this year and at the opening retreat last September a quote was read (see below) that has stuck with me.  As we draw near to the end of our program, I reflect on the 9 months of day long workshops, suggested readings, team projects, and discussions with fellow classmates and find myself re-reading it in a slightly different light. I recall the first time hearing it that I felt that these were things I wished for my daughter (who is 3 1/2 at this time). I read it again with the same hope for her, but also for those in my office, for myself, and for those in the Capitol Hill community who are doing bold and brave things. I also wish them for the leaders of our region, nation, and planet. A year ago, I wondered if LT would be worth it (both from the time and financial committment required), but looking back on what I've learned about myself and the region around me, the friendships I've made, and the hard lessons I've's definitely been a worthwhile investment.

If you have not heard about Leadership Tomorrow, visit this link to learn more. If you're still unclear about it, don't hesitate to ask. I'm glad to share my experiences with you. And now for the quote:


I sincerely wish you will have the experience of thinking up a new idea, planning it, organizing it, and following it to completion and have it be magnificently successful.

I also hope you’ll go through the same process and have it “bomb out!”

I wish you could know how it feels to “run” with all your heart, and lose horribly!

I wish you could find something so worthwhile that you deem it worth investing your life within it.

I wish you could achieve some “great” good for humankind, but have nobody know about it except you.

I hope you become frustrated and challenged enough to begin to push back the barriers of your own personal limitations.

I hope you make a stupid mistake and get caught red-handed and are big enough to say those magic words, “I was wrong!”

I hope you give so much of yourself that some days you wonder if it is worth all the effort.

I wish for you a magnificent obsession that will give you reason for living and purpose and direction for life.

I wish for you the worst kind of criticism for everything you do, because that makes you fight to achieve beyond what you normally would.

I wish for you the experience of leadership! --- Dr. Earl Reum