Transparency, Curiosity, and Compassion

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I live at Daybreak Cohousing (http://www.daybreakcohousing.org/). Daybreak is an intentional community of neighbors who want to know each other and interact with each other on a daily basis. See our website or the national cohousing website: if you want to know more about us or cohousing in general. As with most communities, we have adopted a process/guide to help us effectively communicate with one another. We have adopted the “Mutual Learning Model”.

Transparency, Curiosity, and Compassion are the three key elements in the “Mutual Learning Model”. I find them to be invaluable in having clear, useful and productive conversations. They are particularly useful when having difficult conversations, which all of us have in life – be it with your partner, your family, your neighbors, or your colleagues.

Tuesday night, Emily Newberry with Wizense, Inc. (http://www.wizense.com/Wizense/Welcome.html), came and talked to our community about these concepts. She helped to make this way of communication more present for us once again as it has been quite awhile since our community has focused on how we communicate. I found it to be a wonderful  reminder of how to be together and what is important to us.

These are the guiding principles underlying Roger Shwarz’ 9 ground rules (http://www.schwarzassociates.com/content/products/1708), which we have also adopted. Ground rules are ways of talking and communicating with each other that are mutually agreed upon. They help groups talk in a way that supports each other and furthers communication to get to joint decisions.

“Transparency is being fully who you are and being honest about what you know and believe and how you see things.”

“Curiosity is being genuinely interested in what others have to say and what they know.”

“Compassion is temporarily suspending the belief that you have the right answer and putting yourself in the other person’s shoes to get what it is like to know what they know and reason the way they do.”

When you do all this, you can ‘play in the sandbox’ together. You begin by inviting the person/people you want to have a conversation to join you. This is much more effective than arm wrestling and being in the place of the “Unilateral Control Model”.

Thank you Emily and Daybreak for a great presentation and reminder! May we all continue to learn together!

Building the Future (Part 2 of 3). The Tectonic Heritage of the Volunteer Park Conservatory.

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Without the convenience of modern sealants, glass house pioneers used the overlap of the glass provided by their shingling to keep out water, with the bottom edge scalloped to ensure the water droplets fell from one piece of glass to another as they cascaded down the glass skin.

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Curious about Cohousing?

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  [caption id="attachment_433" align="alignleft" width="700" caption="Dinner in Common House"][/caption]

You may have read previous blog posts about cohousing and wondered, "What is cohousing?"  If you have, you may have googled cohousing and found the website for the Cohousing Association of the United States (or CohoUS).    Good for you! 

If you haven't, then in a nutshell, cohousing is a type of collaborative neighborhood in which residents actively participate in the design and operation of their own community.  A central aspect of living in cohousing is a balance between private and community life.  Neighborhood physical design encourages walkability and social contact while preserving resident needs for private space.  Homes are conventional and privately owned or rented but residents have access to numerous shared facilities such as a community house, common green spaces, and play spaces.

Great, now you have a definition!  But you might still have many questions about what they look/feel like and why people choose to live in cohousing communities.  Perhaps because you wonder, "Would I like to live in a cohousing community?"

If you are interested in:

  • Living lightly on the earth.
  • Knowing and working cooperatively with your neighbors.
  • Reducing your household chores (cooking, cleaning, yardwork).
  • Sharing resources (woodshop, bikeshop, art space, kids play area).
  • Having people check in on you when you are old, alone, sick, lonely, sad, ....(fill in the blank).
  • Celebrating life's accomplishments and milestones with a group of people who care about you and want to celebrate with you.
  • Living your values and having others encourage you to realize your full potential.

then you probably should be interested in learning more about cohousing.

If you’re looking for an alternative to how you live, I would encourage you to attend an informational session on cohousing – community oriented, cooperatively managed, but independently owned housing.

Who:      Open to renters and homeowners, children welcome

Where:   First United Methodist Church (Fellowship Hall) - 180 Denny Way, Seattle, WA

When:    Saturday, October 23, 2010 10:00am-12:00pm

Cost:      FREE but RVSP required        

RSVP:    http://cohousing1023.eventbrite.com

Bakhita Gardens - Affordable Housing in Belltown

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[caption id="attachment_424" align="alignleft" width="700" caption="Sunshades at Bakhita Gardens "][/caption] The Housing Development Consortium organized a tour of Bakhita Gardens at 2nd & Bell.  The project was designed by our friends at Environmental Works and accommodates two transitional housing programs for homeless women.  The project was well planned – with ingenuity and creativity to provide daylight common spaces and a strong sense of community while still providing security and supervision.  The sun-shading seemed to be effective given that the building had no air conditioning even in the common areas.  And the material selection was durable, dignified, and beautiful.  I appreciate living in a city and state where affordable housing is funded to the level it is and that there is a community of skilled architects who create a high caliber of projects.  Contractor was Walsh Construction, Catholic Housing Services was development consultant, and Swenson Say Faget provided structural engineering.

Schemata Workshop has been a member of the Housing Development Consortium (HDC) for a few years and we appreciate the tours and educational programs they sponsor as a way to keep abreast of what's happening in the affordable housing community.  Another resource we have appreciated in that regard is the Housing Washington conference that occurs each fall (Oct 19-20, 2010).  This annual conference draws 700-800 attendees from across the state (as well as a handful of out-of-staters who want to learn from what we are doing here) - ranging from housing authorities, non-profit developers, bankers, contractors, social service providers, property/asset  management companies, tax credit syndicates, and architects.  Mike and I will be doing a presentation at this year's conference (Tuesday 1:30) entitled Affordable Cohousing: Making it Work for Low-Income Families.